everdearests (:

2006-01-28T13:53:00.000+08:00

after all this time
i never thought we'd be here
never thought we'd be here
when my love for you was blind
but i couldn't make you see it
couldn't make you see it

that i loved you more
then you will ever know
and part of me died
when i let you go

lifehouse - blind

2006-01-28T13:49:00.000+08:00

i am feeling really bored now.
but as much as i hate cny, im actually pretty glad for the holiday.
i think my body needs the rest. my cough and flu are pretty bad tday.
i am trying to figure out how to send photos in my phone to my email now
but i don't know why this phone is so complicated. last time it was so easy.
now there are so many stupid settings to change. and they use so many terms that i've never heard of before. grr.
i think i shall go off and mug soon. until it's time to go for my reunion dinner.
i wish you were here.

2006-01-27T21:06:00.000+08:00

today is such tiring day.. keep changing costumes from our hairstlye to our shoes. its madness!! and only this morning we did a minor reblock to our blocking for crave. then a few minutes before crave celestine got nose bleed.. panic panic. luckily at the end of everything amelia's surprise party brightens up the day!! haha.. airhead ame.. so easy to trick. anyway.. happy birthday darling amelia!! :)
and char chen.. rest well and get well soon.. :)

2006-01-25T21:40:00.000+08:00

TIRED...
i need more time and more energy.
anyway..i gave up on my maths test tml...
didnt even touch it today.. dun care!
oh well... im so in a holiday mood...
happy chinese new year!
cant wait for fri to be over... its so tiring. :(

2006-01-06T22:46:00.000+08:00

my com is fixed...

not happy AT ALL...
it hurts alot...

2005-12-30T22:24:00.000+08:00

5 weird/random things about me:

1. at 17 years of age, i am still terrified of the dark ! i can't sleep without my night light.

2. at chinese restaurants i always drown my white rice in soya sauce and eat it plain.

3. my hands tremble uncontrallably, even when i'm completely calm. it started when i was sec2, and drives me crazy.

4. i talk to all my stuffed toys very seriously, including my pillows.

5. i once dreamt that i was a blue fish. i wanted to go to this underwater theme park, but the fishes working there didn't allow me to sit on the rides cos they said i was too small, and it made me really sad. haha.

2005-12-30T19:31:00.000+08:00

i hate my com...
it cant do anything!
i cant even type properly... i type an 'y' a 'h' comes out with it.
'g' comes out with 't'.. so 'type' becomes tgyhpe!!! stupid!!
and i cant see the timetable my teacher send me!! :(:(:(:(:(

2005-12-17T19:46:00.000+08:00

i just love cartoons!! last week mulan this week shrek.. :)
i love saturdays!!

there is a kid in ME!!

2005-12-11T09:42:00.000+08:00

to all people going to buy food

where you all wan to buy the food??
loyang pt or giant at imm
correct me if im wrong.. cos i have absolute no sense of direction. loyang pt is more convienent right?? got the word loyang.. so is it near our chalet?? but does it sell hala food??
tag to vote on the place..

wat time you all wan to meet?
is 12pm too early?

how many people are we buying for?
are the j2s and dsa people coming?
can someone tag the names of the people who you know are coming..

tag tag tag.. make the blog more alive.. :)

2005-12-09T22:27:00.000+08:00

there is a cockroach in my room.. a very very very big one. stupid cockroach. wanted to do my hw in my room and then sleep. but now!! all because of that cockroach.. i cant!! :( my parents went out on a date without bringing their phone... my sis wont be home so early. where is everyone when i need them.. :(:(:( guess have to rely on myself. because im such a strong little girl. i shall.. curse the cockroach until it die. GO AND DIE MR COCKROACH! lame.. thats wat you get from doing too much hw. oh well..shall get back to doing hw in my living room...

2005-12-03T23:03:00.000+08:00

:) :) :) :) :) :)
nothing better to do..

2005-11-27T11:14:00.000+08:00

through the years

we all will be together

if the fates allow

hang a shining star

upon the highest bough

and have yourself

a merry little christmas now

my favourite time of the year (:

2005-11-20T10:01:00.000+08:00

i shall stay at home study instead of going shopping with my mum. not in a shopping mood today... haha. but maybe i will change my mind later cos im so fickle minded.

if you dun like me
say it in my face
-from my pretty wallet-

2005-11-19T11:03:00.000+08:00

i pulled my neck muscle yesterday. pain pain pain!!! i cant turn my head properly. which means i cant spot when i turn (chane?? dunno how to spell) basically just turning very very fast. haha.. dizzy dizzy dizzy. hahahaha.. laughs at myself.
i wan to shop shop shop!! haha
oh! and i have started studying! haha.. so proud of myself... are you all proud of me?? i wan to be mugger. haha!!

2005-11-17T20:53:00.000+08:00

haha im watching lifeline on channel 5 now.
omg the show is so bad it's err indescribable
i can't stop cringing.
i can't stop laughing.
haha. hahaha. hahaha. hahahaha.

2005-11-17T18:24:00.000+08:00

i wan to go shopping!!!
find a place that sells very very cheap clothes and shop like mad..hahaha...
got a urge to buy short shorts. pretty short shorts.

2005-11-15T13:26:00.000+08:00

and last night marked the third stupid night in a row where i woke up at 2 smth in the morning and couldn't sleep for a few hours.
annoying annoying annoying.
so here i am, tired and ACHING.
sigh what do i hafta do to get a good night's sleep.
but i suppose im starting to get used to waking up.

i swear that i&r is the most disgusting thing ever.
grrrrr.

2005-11-08T20:01:00.000+08:00

"what's it like when all your dreams come true,
when your life is given something new
and you begin to live the way you've always wanted to.
that, for me, is you."

2005-11-07T23:17:00.000+08:00

xwei is strong and is able to hold on to her dream..
and she can do it.. :)
right kun?? YES..haha
thanks!!

2005-11-07T23:08:00.000+08:00

clique outing on saturday was such a blast (:

2005-10-30T17:04:00.000+08:00

i'm sitting here at home now bored as hell.
i really don't know what to do with myself so i have resorted to blogging, which can probably keep me occupied for another 10minutes or so.
i feel sick, weak, and really lethargic.
half of me wants nothing more than to sit here and stone because i haven't got the energy to do much else,
while the other half of me is bored out of my skin and needs to do something.
ugh i don't feel so good. having a headache...and i think a fever might be on its way.
okay that ounce of amusement that i was getting from blogging just now has just faded so i don't have the energy to continue anymore.
sigh not even 10 minutes of short-lived amusement.
what am i gonna do for the rest of the day.

2005-10-24T19:07:00.000+08:00

went jacq's house today... vcd watching day is damn fun!! watch alot alot of vcds..:)
and i didnt pon school.. just that i have no class today.. tsk tsk to the others. haha
jit is one big bully!!! always bullying me!! :( he is evil!!

2005-10-21T19:13:00.000+08:00

fever again!!

think its the third time this year.. and its always near holidays. march holidays, june holidays.. now dec holidays..
i have such weak immune system.. :(

2005-10-17T15:41:00.000+08:00

the weather is so nice to sleep today... had a huge problem waking up this morning. so i wasnt really in a very good mood today. AND... the childish and insensitive chinaman ( thats how he described himself) just made my day WORSE!! THANK YOU JIT!!

hahaha.. hopes he feels very guilty after seeing this... MORE soya bean...

2005-10-13T21:01:00.000+08:00

alot of times nowadays i find myself feeling quite lonely. i don't know why...i just feel alone. with my brother gone it feels like im an only child. and my dad is always away. so it's usually just my mum and i. and my mum has alot of her own things to do too. so quite often i find myself alone at home with no one here to talk to. esp at night. like now. sometimes i don't even know what to do with myself when im at home. and i find myself envying pple with siblings to talk to and keep them company. haha it's quite strange. maybe loneliness is the reason why i've been so moody lately. i wish i had someone to talk to now.

i guess i don't really know what to say. i just can't find the words to say it. to miss pple whom you meet and spend time with everyday..i think it's far worse than missing someone who's far away from you. it's like this invisible barrier that you can't cross. and you spend all your time thinking and remembering how things were like when the barrier wasn't there, constantly reminded of it. and you get scared when it gradually gets harder and harder to remember what it felt like to not have a barrier there. it's like sitting in a boat at sea watching the place you came from slowly get smaller and further away. you want to go back. but the tide just carries you, sweeping you away from how things once were. and you can't do anything except watch the distance between you and the shore grow larger and larger.

2005-10-10T22:44:00.000+08:00

i love eating steamboat!! its so fun..
but it will be better if you were there. :)

2005-10-02T13:25:00.000+08:00

i miss angie.
i miss the dancers.
i guess i have nothing much to say.
i need to get back to studying now.

i'll be the greatest fan of your life. (: (299)

2005-09-25T19:26:00.000+08:00

i am so sick of studying.
which is pretty bad since i haven't been studying all that much.
i just want to promote. i just want to promote.
i bought 3 tys books today.
i like buying new books. any kind of books.
i just like the feel of them.
the glossy covers, the touch of the pages.
even textbooks. isn't that weird.
haha i think i'm crazy.

"cause you're all i want
you're all i need
you're everything, everything.
you're all i want
you're all i need
you're everything, everything."

and i don't wanna have to leave sa behind.
not now when i have all the more reason to stay.

2005-09-25T17:35:00.000+08:00

saw zaki on tv today... rehearsing the superstars.

i miss zaki!!
i miss dance!!
-im going back to mug

2005-09-22T00:01:00.000+08:00

what gives you the right.
i wonder if what goes around really comes around.

2005-09-17T22:13:00.000+08:00

thank you!!!! to all the dancers that woke up early on fri to celebrate my birthday for me... haha.. i really didnt suspect anything cos jacq can act sooo well.. she should join mediacorp. haha. first thing she said when she saw me.. ' why the dancers always late.. make me come so early then they late themselves.." then she complain complain complain. and i was like.. yar.. so bad.. EVERYONE else is late. at 715 still only has the two of us there. then suddenly the whole group came together. i asked" how come you all came as a group" they just laughed. HUH?? nevermind... continue sitting there. until they started the singing the birthday song then i realised wats going on. haha.. ok.. blur me. anyway... THANKS! so happy that so many people actually turn up.. i feel so loved!! haha..
and also thankyou!!to kun. chao. jit. ven. for celebrating with me.. i know all of you all are tired. im quite touched that you all still went out for dinner with me. thank you!!
and of cos.. a big big big thank you to everdearest jacq!! for the birthday surprise.. i still remembered asking you do you think the dancers will celebrate for me and you said no.. cos there is no more dance. and TADA!! a surprise from them. oh man.. i love you soooo much!! thanks thanks. and of cos for the elephant.. my fav! though its not pink.. its ok..i still love it! haha.. and for the pretty photos... filled with me and you me and you me and you. haha.. didnt know we took so many many pics together altogether. and kinder surprise.. and your hand made snail and the card.. thank you sooooo much. muacks!! forever my everdearest.. the only one tt know me upside down inside out i dare say.. love you LOADS!
happy birthday to myself~~

2005-09-10T20:55:00.000+08:00

a picture paints a thousand words

2005-09-10T20:54:00.000+08:00

2005-09-10T20:51:00.000+08:00

s'pore poly

2005-09-10T20:50:00.000+08:00

me and cel

2005-09-10T20:49:00.000+08:00

haha xwei co cel

2005-09-10T20:48:00.000+08:00

bridge

2005-09-10T20:47:00.000+08:00

the one you all wanted (:

2005-09-10T20:46:00.000+08:00

chao's birthday

2005-09-09T14:32:00.000+08:00

in jacq's house now... waiting for her to finish bathing so that we can go town and celebrate chao's birthday. happy birthday chao!!! nine more days and it will be my birthday! *hint hint* haha. anyway my internet is down so i cant go online.. sad.. i miss reading blogs and talking online.. probably good too cos i will spend more time on studies then.
im such a retard today.. really really stupid. i gave chao his birthday present with the price tag on! thats the stupidest thing one can do.so now he knows exactly more much i spend on his present. STUPID ME!!
today's dance practice is really horrible.. its the worse one i had so far.
and im so dead for promos.. for the one week holiday, i only mugged on mon and tues.. oops!
ok. this is such a random post and im going town now!! :)

2005-09-07T17:30:00.000+08:00

today feels so saturday-ish. i keep thinking it's saturday. maybe cos every saturday i do the same thing. i wake up early in the morning for dance. have dance until the afternoon. go eat with the dancers. and then come home. and today was like that. so i keep thinking that tmr's sunday. haha. so strange.

"Things can never stay the same, so we shouldn't expect them to. What's important isn't missing the past, but treasuring and focusing on what we have now, before it's too late and we're forced to miss it too."

i came across this quote that i wrote down maybe 2 years ago ? it might not be word for word..but i just wrote down the basic idea. it's from this cartoon on nickelodeon called as told by ginger. and up till today it's still one of my favourites cos i think it makes alot of sense. well..at least it does to me. alot of times i find myself looking back and feeling sad cos of how things have become or changed..and wishing that things could go back to the way they were. but in life, the truth is that things can never the same. cos people and circumstances are everchanging. and by expecting them to stay the same, it's sort of like bringing yourself extra worries and sadness. it's hard accepting the fact that we can never go back no matter how hard we try, but it's only when we accept it that we can move on in life, and fully treasure what we have now. it's alright to miss the past, but it's also important to understand that that's all it is...the past. and we can never change it or return to it. but we have the power to change the present, to do what we want to do, and to cherish the people who mean the most to us. and that's what really matters i guess. and i think that's a really important way to look at things in life, that i still haven't fully learnt to do yet.see ? cartoons are educational ! haha.

well i went down to borders yesterday where they're having like 20% discount off all books for students. and i bought 4 books ! (: so far the five people you meet in heaven has been really interesting and thought-provoking. and im really tempted to throw all my notes aside and just read. haha. it really makes you think..how the smallest things can make such a big difference, and change the lives of people forever.

"it might seem strange to start a story with an ending. but all endings are beginnings. we just don't know it at the time."

okay this is a really long post. time to go do some work ! (:

i don't mind spending every day
out on your corner in the pouring rain.

2005-09-05T21:47:00.000+08:00

and how can i stand here with you
and not be moved by you ?
would you tell me how could it be
any better than this.

(: study study study. i have to keep studying.

i have a lot of things to say. but i guess it's better if i left them unsaid. you really haven't changed abit, have you ? what a fool. it's funny how something so small can trigger so much thought.

as my memory rests,
but never forgets what i lost.
wake me up when september ends.

2005-09-02T21:15:00.000+08:00

today chem lec is damn fun... acting childish together. conclusion is that jacq is the childish one... she labels all the stationaries. so pri school!! even her eraser is labelled. haha.. childish girl. and we said we wont talk to each other for the next one hour. haha. tts cos we are going to different venues for bio tutorial. we wont see each other for one hour.. so cannot talk. hahaaha.. retarded us! but its fun!!! i love my everdearest! especially when we are acting like retards together... haha..

2005-09-02T19:01:00.000+08:00

my house is like so quiet. and i feel kinda lonely. i feel like talking to someone but there isn't really anyone here to talk to. except my dog. and it's quite hard to tell what he's thinking :P haha. i wonder what my family is doing right now in bintan. probably at the beach. or eating or smth. sigh maybe it's just the effects of a gloomy day.

chao stole my wallet tday and hid it. he almost gave me a heart attack. and i ran all over the place trying to look for it. and i was esp worried cos my parents are away. what would i do without my wallet. haha. and when i came back after being unable to find it i found it lying on the table again. and all their guilty expressions. haha. i could have killed him. i dunno why im always so easily tricked !

im not looking forward to tmr. it's pretty much 12 hours of dance...frm 10.30am to 10.30pm. im really dreading it :(

i never thought that dreams came true.
but you showed me that they do.
you know that i learn something new.
everyday i love you.

2005-08-30T21:54:00.000+08:00

tired... did two rounds of mini narvas today. tiring!! its like running 2.4km. cant imagine wat it will be like in the sept hols, training for mini narvas for the whole day. just the thought of it is tiring. but i still enjoy dancing the teacher's day item. haha..

2005-08-29T18:48:00.000+08:00

today was horrible.
i don't think i've ever felt this down in a really long time.
but many thanks to xwei, chao, kun, ven, the cheryls, jannah, deb, vic, and ros anyhow for making my horrible day slightly less horrible.

and i don't want the world to see me,
cos i don't think that they'd understand.
when everything's made to be broken,
i just want you to know who i am.

somebody cheer me up...please ?

2005-08-28T12:54:00.000+08:00

i bet all of you terrorised poor spritey again.. haha. just let him work in peace, ppl!! hahaha.. or else he would have phobia working on saturdays. cos there will be this group of girls and guys terrorising him for nth. just to entertain themselves by looking at his reaction. running away from them, pretending that he didnt hear anything. i bet when he see you all. he must be thinking. omg, they are here again! hahaha. but still, i wan to know what happened.. must be very funny! have you all found out his age by the way?
my sept hols plan is spoiled again. no more tuition means i have to revise on my own. wonder if i have the discipline to revise by mself. hmmm... think i just have to find another solution. STUDY STUDY STUDY!
char chan.. dun worry k. i will protect you.. muahahaha. i am a strong little girl if you dun know. haha. and jes and yingli will too! right? let the dancers unite! hahaha..ok lame.. anyway, hope you are feeling better. :)
jacq.. can you plz go and see a doc for your legs, or you will be the most unsexist girl on earth. haha. im evil.. went to see a doc for your eye doesnt mean you cant go and see a doc for your legs.. then you can start wearing skirts again!! isnt tt great?? haha. GO AND SEE A DOCTOR!!

ice blend li bu kai nata
riang wo ai ni ai dao lao...
hahaha... a song composed by celena for me.. THANKS GIRL!
i can see jacq cringing.

2005-08-27T17:22:00.000+08:00

dance was tiring as usual. syf has become quite a torture. i think i now have a better idea of how it feels like to be asthmatic. went to eat lunch at subway after..where we saw SPRITEBOY again ! too bad xwei was missing :P

after hearing the dance schedule for the next 2 weeks im starting to get really worried.

chain emails always say "it's funny how people can trash God and wonder why the world is going to hell". in the same way..i think it's funny how people shoot their mouths off, and still wonder how some people can be stupid enough to become anorexic. sometimes people should really think before they speak. just a thought.

oh and thanks to ven more than half the class now knows my deepest DARKEST (pun intended) fear ! she tells everybody ! :(

haha i have gotten my retribution for claiming that i've managed to pass all my clumsiness down to xwei. the past few days have proven that im still as accident prone as ever ! haha. everyone says i look like i've just experienced a major case of abuse..what with all the blisters, floorburns, mysterious bites, and HUGE PURPLE BRUISES.

annoying annoying annoying. oh well that's another name struck off my list of eyecandies. actually it can't really be called a list anymore cos there are so few remaining. i still stand strong in my opinion that looks really are overrated (:

okay im feeling very random tday. this is a very random post. don't mind me (:

i'm always strong when you're beside me.

2005-08-24T20:46:00.000+08:00

jacq is such a great teacher.. passing me all her retarded powers. her clumsiness, her short term memory, and her bad and broken chinese. haha. im really really careless these few days. walk into pillars, knock the bench before i sit now. today is the worse.. had bio spa today. even before it starts.. my hand knocked the table and there is a red patch on my hand.. probably a sign to show tt i will screw up my spa. hahaha... and during dance.. i got hit by the stick on my head while trying to balance it on my hand. how retarded of me!

and i love the teachers' day dance.. its so fun!! though i get alot of brusies from it. haha.

2005-08-23T17:51:00.000+08:00

i've been watching your world from afar.
i've been trying to be where you are.
and i've been secretly falling apart, unseen.
to me, you're strange and you're beautiful.
you'd be so perfect with me but you just can't see.
you turn ever head but you don't see me.

i'll put a spell on you.
you'll fall asleep when i put a spell on you.
and when i wake you i'll be the first thing you see.
and you'll realise that you love me.

sometimes the last thing you want comes in first.
sometimes the first thing you want never comes.
but i know that waiting is all you can do, sometimes.

i'll put a spell on you.
you'll fall asleep when i put a spell on you.
and when i wake you i'll be the first thing you see.
and you'll realise that you love me.

..but i know that waiting is all you can do, sometimes.

2005-08-22T21:35:00.000+08:00

hello everyone.
im jacq. and im a huge huge mess.

and thank you for completely ruining the one day that i was looking forward to all weekend. and now tomorrow, instead of being on our great date with our dearest nessa bay at holland v, i will be slogging away after school in your remedial class which im sure will be incredibly helpful. so thanks a whole lot, really. i am eternally indebted to you and i'm sure i will be singing your praises for years to come.

childish, i know. petty, i know. unreasonable, i know. but i never claimed to not be any of those things.

i'm not stupid. i'm not stupid. i'm not stupid. (do i hear a little voice at the back of my head saying otherwise ?)

why can't i be more like him. but i guess after all these years i finally understand that i can't and will never be able to be. life is like that sometimes. some people are born smart. while some people well.. just aren't.

hah...i really am a mess.

i tear my heart open, i sew myself shut.
my weakness is that i care too much.
and our scars remind us that the past is real.
i tear my heart open just to feel.

2005-08-20T22:53:00.000+08:00

LESSON TO BE LEARNT: NEVER EVER BELIEVE CHINAMEN. THEY ARE EVIL.

i can't believe i got tricked so many times !

2005-08-20T21:48:00.000+08:00

dance tday was tiring but super fun (: the teacher's day item is really quite fun. after that we did the mini syf item. i think my left leg is gonna ache really badly tmr from the extensions. i could feel quite a huge strain. umbrella part is fun though (:

i miss angie my dear.

i think my studies are in trouble. really. well my mum finally managed to force me to take math tuition. which i agreed to take more to get her off my back than anything else. im completely lost for chem i have no idea what's going on and i think mr yeo is starting to notice. maybe i should take chem tuition. ohhhh and i failed my bio test so now i have to go for bio remedial ! hmm math tuition, chem tuition and bio remedial. that's like taking tuition for all my subjects. what a hopeless case. hahaha.

much to my embarassment i found out that grasshopper isn't cao tiao...it's cao MEN. i find it quite hard to believe grass door means grasshopper. but oh well. according to them there's this legend abt a grasshopper going through a door. so that's why it's called that. i guess they wouldn't lie to me so many times in a row right..so it shld be correct ! finally (:

the big yellow spider near my house bus stop is still there ! after so many days of heavy rain. i thought spiders are supposed to only live abt a week or two ! WHY IS IT STILL THERE ??

i worry i won't see your face light up again.

2005-08-20T21:24:00.000+08:00

this had BETTER be right. if it isn't.. i really must be the dumbest person ever.

2005-08-16T18:16:00.000+08:00

well we took a trip down to st nicks after sch today to collect our o'level certs. i think it's rather sad that we don't really feel a sense of belonging there anymore. in fact we were actually quite eager to leave after taking the certs. i don't know..st nicks just feels so different now. and cold. all the warmth and homely feeling i used to feel when i was there has disappeared. and it seems like everything i loved abt the sch for the 10years i spent there has faded and gone away. i miss my st nicks friends...but i don't think i really miss the sch. it's pretty sad.

had a really bad headache the whole day today which left me feeling quite horrible. and it just got worse and worse as the day went by, esp after the math test (which i HOPE i passed). maybe it's from the lack of sleep.

i hate TOU (or singer or mango or whatever else you'll call her). i really really hate her. i swear she has the THICKEST skin that i have ever seen in my entire life. and the biggest head. wth. it amazes me how people like her even exist in this world. like get a life, won't you ? stop trying to make yourself look so great in front of everyone when you're so so not. pls get out of my sight. and most importantly, my hearing range. i don't want to see you. i don't want to hear you. just go away !

note to self:
- zhang lang is cockroach, NOT lizard.
- it's kong RONG rang li...not kong long rang li.
- grasshopper is cao tiao (though i still have my suspicions abt that)
- don't believe evil chinese classmates who try to confuse me with all their chinese terms.
- do something abt my horrible chinese SOON to prevent further embarassing moments of truth and being conned by china men/women.

2005-08-16T18:14:00.000+08:00

a long time ago

2005-08-16T18:11:00.000+08:00

after

2005-08-15T21:24:00.000+08:00

all my classmates are ganging up to bully me, i swear !
i vow that i will have my revenge on all you china men/women !
just wait and see ! (ni men deng zhe qiao!)

sat's performance was erm kind of disappointing ? but amusing all at the same time. i think there were more of us syf dancers than people watching. and like someone said (i can't remember who)...they said the stage would be big...but they didn't say it would be big with SO MUCH STUFF on it. musical instruments, wires, etc. it didn't feel like we performed at all. but i suppose it was fun in the end.

the adventures with SPRITEBOY at harboufront subway after with xwei corinne jilyn weiliang cel and heon were super hilarious. i think i've never seen xwei turn such a deep red(or purple) before. we shld go there again soon ! RIGHT CORINNE ?? :P

okay time to continue studying ! (:

and i don't think that i'll see her again.
but we shared a moment that wiill last till the end.

2005-08-15T19:09:00.000+08:00

i dun like sprite... i like ice lemon tea..

2005-08-12T21:10:00.000+08:00

i know it's quite weird but parent teacher meeting has actually motivated to work harder. and im kinda glad i went after all. haha. i really musn't use dance as an excuse to do badly anymore. i have to manage my time...and work extra hard to make up for the time spent in dance. feeling tired. must be from the lack of sleep. i slept at 2smth last night cos i was doing my bio notes and i felt like dying the whole of tday. oh well im off to study now ! study study study.

guess im wishing my life away,
with these things i'll never say.

2005-08-10T22:15:00.000+08:00

(: (:(: yesterday was a really great day. i love fireworks ! (:

we had dance farewell for the j2s on monday night. i cried and cried and cried. it was really quite heartbreaking and heartwarming all at the same time. but to have everyone, j1s and j2s alike, in the studio crying together...the feeling of closeness really isn't smth you'll experience very often.

i must say that i really feel indebted to the j2s. i feel like i owe them so so much. they gave heon, xwei and i the chance of being part of syf. unlike the other j1s who were chosen by zaki, the 3 of us owe everything to the j2s. they taught us everything we know with so much patience. they believed that we could do the near impossible...learning the steps in 3 days. and without their faith in us, im very sure we would never have succeeded. it's really been such a huge huge honour dancing alongside such talented and wonderful dancers. and im so so thankful for the opportunity. the first day the 3 of us came in for syf practice...i remember feeling so scared and stressed and intimidated. i never imagined that i would come to feel abt the j2s as i do now. there's so much more that i want to say..but i just don't know how to put it down in words.

so to kelly, yijun, wanting, natalyn, samantha, amanda, jessica, doreen, yonghuay, hsin yi, jackie and weiliang and not forgetting odelia :
thank you so so much for everything. you all will be missed dearly :(

2005-08-10T16:23:00.000+08:00

seems like all the j1 dancers are very affected by mon's performance. really disappointed at the crowd's reactions. all our blogs reflect almost the same stuff... goes to show how important the crowd's reactions are to us... the dancers. especially when we are from the same sch.. cant you guys be more sensitive to how we would feel? its really depressing to see how demoralize the dancers are. not like we want to wear such revealing clothes..we have no choice.. if you guys think that our dance is messy and all that.. it wont be tt bad cos its really our fault.. but all you all are laughing at is our tiny skirts and juggling fats... immature audience! hmph! how nice of you guys.

2005-08-08T21:37:00.000+08:00

today's performance was the worse performance i ever had. throughout the whole thing i was like shit shit shit.
1 they played the wrong music.. hollarback girl. 3 times!!
2 lose my breath skipped halfway.. so the partner work is being cut off.
3 though it rained...but we continued with the performance by moving to the hall to perform. we just performed without having the blocking beforehand. i bet the blocking its damn screwed.
4 cos the stage hall is so tiny.. we cannot use our chairs..so we have to change some stuff here and there like 10 mins before the concert. and its not as nice as it is on rapture
5 when im smack centre... in front of my class.. they shouted" go xiaowei" i freaked out a bit and lost my balance.. so malu. haha
6 ppl laughed at us saying that we dun have good figure, cannot shake or something. irritating..so you think you have la? so li hai..come join dance la! i bet you can even do a sinlge eight. stupid ppl!! only know how to criticise. you dun know how much effort we put in to put up this item for you all.

but other than these.. the j2 farewell was damn great!! it was a sucess! haha..the food were great. item is perfect and funny. video is touching. games are fun and entertaining. cry until damn jialat though. i hope all the j2s will always remember this day.
eat. sleep. dance. eat. sleep. dance. :)

2005-08-07T21:37:00.000+08:00

i dun wan to do my gp hw
i dun wan to dance go go in sch... cos ppl say look like porn
and i have feeling its going to screw up.. we haven been able to do our drain properly without screwing up... missing chairs.. messy chairs.. how to perform? so malu... in front of the sch.. and so close up.we are really going to look retarded.
i hope it rain...really really heavy... then we dun have to dance!! yeah!!
going jilyn's house after tt..i think it will be fun!! i hope everyone enjoys themselves tml.. after so much planning.
i hate TOU!! you dun deserve it...

2005-08-06T17:18:00.000+08:00

when you try your best but you don't succeed.
when you get what you want but not what you need.
when you feel so tired but you can't sleep.
stuck in reverse.
and the tears come streaming down your face,
when you lose something you can't replace.
when you love someone but it goes to waste.
could it be worse ?

lights will guide you home
and ignite your bones.
and i will try to fix you.

and high up above or down below.
when you're too in love ~~to let it go~~.
but if you never try you'll never know.
just what you're worth.

lights will guide you home
and ignite your bones.
and i will try to fix you.

coldplay- fix you

just got home not long ago (: dance tday was quite tiring. feeling drained now. i guess teacher's day item was quite fun though. just that it was really hot. i hope they repair the studio aircon soon. can't imagine having to live with it like that for the rest of the year. it's really like a sauna or smth. im dreading monday. i think it's gonna be quite embarassing. and i sort of wish we could join in the carnival or celebrations like everyone else for once and not have to worry abt performing. i think it would be quite fun. seems like we always have to miss out on this kinda thing cos of dance. like the water games during orientation2. or the funfair stuff. or racial harmony. oh well. guess it can't really be helped though.

well the weekend is here again. i know it's weird...but i don't like weekends. i haven't liked them since that time. and i still don't. weekends give you too much time to think about things. and i'd much rather be in sch where at least you're surrounded by people i can talk to. alot of people can't seem to understand why i feel this way. but i guess only those who have been in that situation before would get it.

i haven't studied in a long time. and i still don't feel like studying today. i just feel really tired. and like i have no energy to do anything. i think i will still try to do smth tday though. there are so many tests coming up. and i don't wanna fail. at least my mum isn't in singapore to nag at me these few days...and to try to psycho me into taking tuition.

ohh there's this huge huge spider web near my house bus-stop with this huge yellow spider. and it creeps me out whenever i walk past. it's really very big. why am i so unlucky. i seem to have alot of affinity with spiders this week. like that day in the cafe. i was so freaked out i almost cried. haha. and like yestd in the studio. oh well that's more of xwei's bad luck than mine though. at least i wasn't the one who almost touched it. haha.

okay i need to go take my shower now (:

2005-08-02T19:28:00.000+08:00

finally uploaded the rapture pictures.
the link is on the right (:

today was quite a happy day.
except that i think all spiders should die.
serious.

2005-07-31T13:43:00.000+08:00

i cant wait for wed!! dance prac again! i miss all the dancers. all the fun we have rehearsing for rapture. but now that rapture is over... i have no excuse to sleep in class. not doing my tutorial. and i wan to say a big big thank you to all the dancers on the stage for opening... thanks for giving me all the hugs and encouragement telling me that i CAN change in 50 secs. thanks thanks thanks. love you all loads. and of cos all the other dancers who believe that i can do it... praying for me also. anyway i did it. haha.. though my flower dropped 3 secs after i started dancing jubilation. oh well... its just a big red flower. haha.
anyway.. back to wed.. after this happy day.. its will be 4 aug. and two movies that i really wan to watch will be coming out!! the maid and charlie and the chocolate factory!! hahaha!! cant wait! dancers!! lets watch chocolate factory together!! okok?? we can go on fri.. if we dun have dance..or sat? after dance. lets go lets go! so exciting!

2005-07-28T22:27:00.000+08:00

im suffering from severe rapture-withdrawal symptoms now.

i miss dance, dance and MORE DANCE.
i miss seeing the dancers every day.
i miss all the hours we spent working our asses off in the studio.
i miss all our breaks spent in the cafe drinking fruit juice and eating snacks. (though i don't miss cup noodles)
i miss sleeping in the backroom everyday before dance after class.
i miss kallang theatre. i miss its whole atmosphere.
i miss my dearest room G mates.
i miss the perfumed smell of our room, the warm soft glow of the lighting, the subzero temperatures, and the peacefulness of it all.
i miss the madrush of phototaking before the concert.
i miss all the hugs and words of encouragement just minutes before the concert began.
i miss the closeness of the dancers when we gathered and prayed.
i miss the butterflies in my stomach and the heightened feeling of anticipation.
i miss the adrenaline rush that comes with performing.
i miss the bursting happiness and relief and sense of achievement we got when the curtains closed and everything was over.
i miss the feeling that our sweat and blood and tears and everything were all worth it when we heard the cheering and applause from the audience.
i miss everything about rapture.

haha i kinda regret the times when i was so tired after trainings that i wished rapture was all over, cos i'd give anything to have it all back now. oh well, at least there's always next year right.

oh take me back to the start.

2005-07-28T22:24:00.000+08:00

according to the lady who gave the talk on "impress at first sight", it's a girl's feet that gives a guy the rough idea of how sexy the girl is. HAHA HOW SEXY IS THIS. all the blisters and floorburns..i look like i have some disease

2005-07-27T21:17:00.000+08:00

and so it is
just like you said it would be.
life goes easy on me, most of the time.
and so it is the shorter story .
no love, no glory. no hero in her sky .

i can't take my eyes off of you.
i can't take my eyes off of you.
i can't take my eyes off of you.
i can't take my eyes off of you.
i can't take my eyes off of you.

the lyrics of damien rice's the blower's daughter have a really haunting effect. and they cut right through to the heart..so painful and bittersweet. sometimes i really wish i was braver, stronger, more outspoken, smarter. but even if i was, would it be enough ? sometimes it's really the simplest things that are the hardest to say. most of the time i don't even know what i want.

you don't know how lovely you are.

2005-07-27T20:08:00.000+08:00

to corinne jilyn weiliang weiping and whoever that is going for the outing today..
im so sorry for pang sehing you all. i really thought that its cancelled cos jilyn didnt come school. and its like not confirm yet. sorry!! i will organise another one k. lets watch charlie and the chocolate factory!! looks so nice.. :) love you all loads!!
go go dancers go go dancers!!

2005-07-25T20:45:00.001+08:00

in my heart, always (:

2005-07-25T20:45:00.000+08:00

SHORT but unforgettable memories

2005-07-18T23:21:00.000+08:00

sat performance was damn nice!!
realised tt after watching the video.. the stage is sooooo small!! when dancing, everyone felt like its in a huge mess.. but its not!! surprisingly!!
and we felt like we were in a zoo.. everyone is taking pictures of us.. probably becos of our makeup and costumes.. nicest i guess!! hahaha
there is this guy that came from my back and started taking pics of .... my choker. when i turned to him and he said" no no no..turn back and stay there" why would he wan to take pic of my choker rather than me? hmmm..hahaha.. i know everyone tt see this will puke.. IM JUST JOKING!! i simply think tt the guy is kind of weird... wat so nice about our choker..its handmade anyway...
dance dance dance.. im so tired.. but i still rather have eat. sleep. dance. than to have eat. sleep. study. so i shall not complain.....

2005-07-18T22:17:00.000+08:00

JACQ'S VERY CUTE PET :D

2005-07-14T23:27:00.000+08:00

if yesterday was a bad day...today was a living hell.
felt like breaking down so many times
cos it was today that it felt like everything was crashing down on me.
felt slightly better after dancing navras (syf).
i guess the dance really does hold true to its title of "transcendental bliss"

2005-07-13T22:14:00.000+08:00

today was a bad bad day.
am feeling pretty horrible now.
don't ask.

2005-07-13T21:08:00.000+08:00

dance today is really bad.. got loads of scolding from zaki. im really worried if we can pull it through for rapture. he made all the items sound so ugly. so demoralizing.. how are we going to perfect everything by next fri?? hmmm... and im really really tired. i want to give full out.. but im just so tired. its like li bu chong xin.

2005-07-11T22:15:00.000+08:00

today is a very interesting day... tiring though.cos dance ended at like 830. but we got to leave class at like 1145 for some combine sch rehearsal. went around suaning my class.. haha. then went to dance dance studio to rest and change and stretch. in the midst of stretching, jacq turned around and stared at the window. thinking to herself "why is the bar at the window moving??" and said very loudly "oh!" heon turned around and looked in the direction that jacq is looking at.. "its a snake!!" everyone turned and started screaming like hell... though its very small and far away from us. yj went to the general office to ask for help... but turn out everyone in the general office came down. including mrs lim. but after they saw the snake. all of them are like. chey... so small. no matter what..its still a snake and its really freaky. kelly went to videotape down the whole process of them catching the snake.. yucks! so gross seeing the snake gliding everywhere. wat an interesting way to start our rehearsal.
the dancers made our way to the hall for rehearsal through the cafe. alr having a very bad impression from everyone else.. we tried our best to not look so cocky and arrogant. and by the way.. we are not arrogant la. if you acually know us..all of us are funny and nice and lame. but somehow, i can sense tt everyone is looking at us.. giving some negative comments about us. being attract attention or what so ever. but its really not our fault. its because we all are wearing black shirt and black tights. its to be organise. we cant help it if you think that we are attracting attention. haiz. anyway, during the rehearsal... we waited really really long for our turn. after a while, most of us just fell alseep. including me. think we are really really tired from all the intensive training for rapture. cant believe we can actually fall asleep when the whole hall is so noisy. but when its our turn.. we gave full out and its so nice! when we watched the video after that.. im so impressed. its very neat and synchronized though before that all of us are kind of half dead. im sure we can do it on saturday!!
wat else?? hmmm..oh! im so impressed with glenn also!! he is such a talented dancer. learning his steps so fast and able to catch up with the music. WOW!! see! we can do it even without you. in fact, i think we do even better without you!

2005-07-11T22:13:00.000+08:00

other dancers may be on the floor,
but in my eyes i see only you (:

2005-07-10T22:19:00.000+08:00

around two more weeks to rapture... trainings are really intensive now. and we still have to go for pe. so unfair! hmph!! im so tired... lazy to type alr.

2005-07-05T22:04:00.000+08:00

and so the intensive dance training for rapture begins.
all the staying back in sch until late.
just got home abt an hour ago.
it's only day one and i feel like my body's breaking.
my floorburn bled tday so my foot's kinda hurting now.
haha i'll probably end up sleeping during all my lessons.
haha oh well...so much for promising myself that i'll work really hard from now on.
okay too tired to say anything else.
eat. sleep. dance. repeat.

2005-07-03T20:31:00.000+08:00

if you really wants to know how sick our conversation is... go visit corinne's blog. hahaha..its really funny.. noticed that i didnt say anything sick.. just goes to show how innocent i am. HAHAHA!! i only sat there and laugh...

2005-07-03T14:04:00.000+08:00

finally everything is back to normal. eat sleep dance eat sleep dance.
yesterday was our first dance prac after three weeks of break. all the items are so raw. lots of clean up will be needed. and we finished re- blocking our syf item. YEAH!! WE DID IT!! seems like we can do even better without irresponsible people. finished it in like three hours time.
after dance we went to ps for dinner. me, jacq, jilyn, corinne, weiliang, weiping, kanoghao. and our conversation become very sick after corinne commented on jacq's desert. hahaha... damn funny.
shall slack my day away today. rest well and get prepared for next three weeks of intensive dance training. haha. a very good excuse to be lazy for a day...

2005-07-02T23:58:00.000+08:00

here i go, so dishonestly
leave a note for you, my only one.
and i know you can see right through me
so let me go, and you will find someone.

tiredness always seems to come hand in hand with the most negative of feelings.

2005-07-01T00:29:00.000+08:00

funny incident #2
jacq and xwei took a train from harbour front to get to tanjong pagar to watch the st nicks concert. so they had to switch train at outram park. after the concert, they were back at tanjong pagar again, ready to head home (on the RED line)

jacq: hey we're going this way (points towards train that goes to city hall)
xwei: huh no what...outram park is this way ! (points in the other direction)
jacq: err DO YOU STAY ALONG THE NEL, XWEI ?
xwei: hahaha no...

haha okay anyway we went to watch the st nicks performing arts concert after our last paper today. turns out it was held at the same place as the sa band concert was. it's strange how a place can bring back so many memories when you've only been there once. memories were both good and bad i guess. im sure xwei will understand what i mean. everywhere i looked i was practically being haunted by my own memories. and i have no idea why they had left such a deep impression on me. spent alot of time just lost in my own thoughts. remembering. reflecting. it's kind of bittersweet actually.

oh well i think we're watching initial D tmr. haha. shall upload the photos another day.

"it's funny how time changes how we feel."

2005-06-30T23:31:00.000+08:00

muhahahaha!! i finished all my exams!! happy mugging for ppl taking CLAO. hahaha. im so evil!!

after our last paper today, me and jacq went to meet the ex st nicks dancers to go and watch our dear juniors. jubilate II. a performance put up by all the performing arts cca in st nicks. all of them got gold i think.. so proud of them.
but the thing is, its super POK!! the venue is at singapore conference hall. with the programme booklet as our tix. wth. is st nicks that poor? cant even afford a proper ticket. and because it held at the concert hall.. there is no curtains. so all the movement of chairs can be seen and its damn loud la.. so disorganize. and the wings.. if you even called that the wings.. its just like a tiny door.. its so damn tiny that everyone cannot exit properly cause they are jammed there. make the whole concert so un-smooth. thats not it. because everything is moving in and out so slowly.. the emcees have to talk cock alot to delay time. the emcees are HORRIBLE!! firstly the whole script is so full of shit. secondly they are just reading off the script. thirdly the tone that they were using couldnt convinced us watever good points they were saying abt the team. one of them went like... they are..*paused for 3 sec* so *paused for 5 sec* dynamic *toneless*. three of us burst out laughing la. wat dynamic? she dun even sound like she is saying dynamic. its damn funny la...
but overall.. all the performances are very nice. especially the ELDDS. i thought that was the nicest performance out of all. all of them acted so well!! impressed! but dance is a bit disappointing. ok..i hope none of my juniors will read this. actually i dun think they even know we have a blog. so i shall complain abt my instructor here. for the chinese dance. there are more than 20 of them inside the syf team. but the whole dance seems like there is only one person dancing. everyone else are the extras.. walk walk walk..pose..walk walk walk..pose.. they are not even dancing. feel so sad for them when i saw the dance. how can he be so bias. one person dancing and 20 others posing.. and its for the whole entire dance. tts so unfair!! maybe thats y they only got a gold and not honours. and the finale is rubbish la. the choir are standing at the back singing songs. then just a few dancers in front suppose to be doing some actions with the song. but they look very bad. the actions itself is not very nice, plus the dancers are not neat at all.. some dun even know wat to do. looking around. the whole thing is like so off la. a very very bad way to end off the concert.
im so glad that when my batch had our concert, everything is so perfect and nice. venue is at kallang theatre with proper tix and curtains and wings and emcees. and our finale is soo nice. i remembered we have to modify our family dance, keep changing and changing formations. and we practise alot of times to get it right. and the finale is so perfect that night. when everything end, the curtain close and we screamed and hugged each other..celebrating. but tonight's one doesnt have a curtain so they just stood there. so anticlimax. hai. so disappointing.

2005-06-29T16:42:00.000+08:00

im watching some cheerleading championship on espn now. it's pretty cool. super impressive.

my last hope for my common tests just flew out the window today.
haha it's pretty much over for me alr. but with the amount i studied, maybe it was over for me even before it started.

i really don't feel like studying for tmr's bio. haha finally the last paper. maybe i'll just flip through later or smth.

2005-06-25T14:27:00.000+08:00

im not much better than jacq..haha. have been watching tv for the past few days. have been waking up at like 12pm 1pm cos i slept at like 2 3 am at night. haha.. and its not because im studying.. its cos im watching tv. haha. oops!! im so worried for ct... but i dont do anything after that. haha.

cant wait for dance prac to start again!! i rather have eat.sleep.dance. than to have eat.sleep.study. shouldnt have complained abt my eat.sleep.dance. routine last time.. now tt i think abt it... its really fun!! as compared to life these two weeks.
but im really scared for rapture. now that i have one more dance to worry abt. sfy. cos have to reblock and everything... wonder if my tiny brain have space for me to stuff the new blocking inside. hmmms... and that shanghai night dance. omg. tts my nightmare. i cant remember the steps after the first 5 eights.. zaki is going to kill me.. oh no!! just imagining myself wearing 3 inches heels and dance. i will probably trip and fall to death even before i go on the stage. haha..i shall stop cursing myself in case it comes true.

5 more days to the start of eat.sleep.dance. -repeat-

2005-06-24T16:33:00.000+08:00

it's FRIDAY ! 2 more days and it's back to school. im actually pretty excited. im so happy that i can get back to friends and breaks and bitching and laughing and DANCE and looking at eyecandies again ! haha. i miss school. and i miss my eyecandies ! and of course i miss dance. my excitement has been dampened (not killed) abit by the fact that common tests are 2 days away though. and i am so so unprepared for them. actually unprepared is an understatement.

up to date i have completed studying:
- half of the math topics
- 2 chapters of bio. (FAR from halfway through)
- 1 CHAPTER OF CHEM (and chem's on TUESDAY)

omg what am i gonna do ?? im expecting to get like an F F F for my common test. and even though im in such deep shit im still not motivated to study hard. i just spent my whole afternoon playing some game on my computer. having a really bad headache now and i feel kinda nauseous. i haven't been feeling well since wednesday. i keep sneezing and sniffing and i always feel so tired and worn out. plus the headaches too. i suppose i've sort of come to the realisation that even if i mug all day and night for the next 2 days, im never gonna finish studying.

i guess i can't wait for this week to be over. although it means exams starting. i just can't stand spending every day trying to study and failing to study and getting so irritated with myself. i'd much rather be in school dancing and talking to friends. and did i mention eyecandies ? haha :p

2005-06-21T18:39:00.000+08:00

i guess there's nothing much to blog about. everyday has been pretty much the same. i wake up and i try to study but i end up doing nothing. and the days just fly by. i can practically feel time running out and slipping through my fingers. think im really really screwed.

went seoul gardening and shopping with the girls (angie tiff and jamie) yesterday to celebrate angie's birthday. it was really fun. had such a great time with them (: i bought a notebook and a pair of earrings ! haha i am a firm believer in retail therapy. unfortunately i came home to the sickening guilt that i hadn't even touched my books since saturday morning (almost 3 days!). god what am i gonna do ? im not even a quarter way through what i need to study by the time common test starts next week ! maybe i should have just gone to poly. haha im probably beyond screwed.

oh well..mugging session tmr with angie at american club. i don't care i'm going to glue myself to my chair and sit there and mug my brains out from like 9am to 9pm. haha how exciting.

2005-06-19T20:08:00.000+08:00

i am here to blog abt our incident at the airport a few days ago.

jacq and xwei are walking in the airport.
they walk past the departure gate where they were quite alot of people.

xwei : so many people are migrating nowadays...
jacq : yea... but how come you suddenly thought of that
xwei : look...so many people in front of the gate
jacq : but how do you know they're migrating and not just going on holiday ?
xwei : there...the sign on top says IMMIGRATION -points to sign
jacq : urm xwei...everyone who leaves the country has to go through immigration
xwei : really meh ?
jacq : yes, really..

2005-06-17T23:02:00.000+08:00

today is a VERY boring day. stayed at home and study. and its really boring. studying bio works better than sleeping pills. this sucks. im never going to finish studying my bio.

2005-06-16T21:38:00.000+08:00

went to the airport at 11 today. suppose to study but ending up having a 'little' chit chat session with jacq. which lasted for like 2hours?? arent you amazed at wat we two can talk abt even though we see each other almost everyday. even if we dont, we msg each other asking hows the day. haha.. waited for angie to come and finish eating.. then we started work, half an hour later we had to go. haha..oops! but before we leave macs.. we tried taking pics by ourselves. failed attempt. all turn out a bit wrong. then took the sky train to terminal 1 to meet ame, tiff, ade, jun. jq, dora, jiang, yijing. took some pics while waiting for everyone to come and looked at the book that contains all the 4 loyalty memories. all the silly pictures that we took for different occusions. sat there and laugh at ourselves. and of cos went to meet our lead for the day.. michie!! the first thing she did was to hug me and cry.. awkward silence while she wipe her tears. haha.. then dunno why suddenly everyone started laughing.. wat a weird situation. haha. took many many pics with our beloved michie.haha. photo taking freaks. stand around for a while... said a prayer for her and her family... continue standing around while she talked to her other friends. finally goodbye hugs from all of us. then silence for some time as we watched her leave.. after a while most of us started crying. dunno when we will see her again. sad... you will always be missed by us!!

2005-06-15T19:50:00.000+08:00

stayed at home to study bio today. cos the textbook is so thick and heavy, cant possibly bring it out to study. but was quite distracted today after jacq called me to tell me that michie is going to migrate to dunno where TOMORROW!!( wasnt listening properly after the word migrate) and she didnt tell anyone of us. luckily we found out.. though i dunno how. they just passed the msg around. was very very shock when i heard the news. i was just thinking of contacting her, asking her to study with me, and inviting her for the rapture concert last night. regretted not doing so earlier.. and now that she is leaving, all these cant be done. didnt even have a proper gathering with her. the last time that i saw michie is during the rj vs sa rugby match. one day after her birthday. and we only had a casual talk.. promising each other that we must go out soon. but we didnt!!

remembered all the fun that we had in st nicks!! she sat beside me for the whole of sec 4.. if i didnt remember wrongly. and both of us love doing maths!! we are like maths freaks. we give each other hugs and little notes that will cheer each other when either of us didnt do well for a test. *most of the times is she cheering me up. and we buy stuff for each other for no reason too. i remembered i bought cute stickers ( at least i think so) for her from our school bookshop and none of our other classmates think that its cute. she is the only one that agrees with me. maybe she is just trying to console me but she does like it cos she pasted it everywhere. i still have it in my cal! both of us are also hated by wangjian, our chinese teacher. cos we never listen in his class.. forever doing maths. no difference between maths lessons and chinese lessons. and we mugged together for our olevels. night study in school, mos burger in amk, bishan foodcourt. we go home together sometimes too. i remembered that we always walk from amk mrt to the kfc busstop to take bus although she could take bus from the busstop at the mrt station. but cos i couldnt, so she will walk with me.. its bring me there actually cos i never knew how to walk there. its too complicated. also.. the day when we recieved our chinese olevel results in the mid year, i was so scared that i cried even before i got my results.. michie is the first one that hugged me... lending her shoulders. oh.. and there is this day, one day before lit test. we went to jiang's house with angie to play mahjong. if i didnt remember wrongly, its me, angie, michie and jiang. supposed to be studying king of the castle and twelve night.. but ended up giving up on our lit.. started gossiping abt our lit teacher and then played mahjong. haha. oops! and many many thousands other things happened in that two years. i simply love that girl!! so pretty and thoughtful.. im really going to miss her and i hope she will always remember me..

2005-06-14T19:06:00.000+08:00

studied at starbucks at marine parade with wei and ka fai today. walked to parkway parade for lunch and played pool for awhile. after that i went to wei's house to study abit more before my brother picked me up.

studying date with angie dear tmr. we're gonna study at dhoby gaut and then watch mr and mrs smith later on. so exciting. i love brad pitt.

my weakness is that i care too much.

2005-06-13T18:01:00.000+08:00

im suppose to be studying... but is really boring and i have no mood to study at all. found a very good excuse to come online that is to do my pw research. haha. feeling quite guilty for studying so little today, shall TRY and study more later. going to school for my pw meeting tml. anyone wants to go study with me after that? actually anyone just refers to jacq. haha.

2005-06-13T15:55:00.000+08:00

i am here to blog about my very unhappy encounter with my dentist just now. i am so so so so annoyed. 6months ago she told me that i could stop wearing my stupid retainers fulltime after 6 months as long as i wore them faithfully. and today when i went to see her she said i still have to wear them fulltime ! and she changed her story to 6months TO A YEAR. like wth. even though retainers are absolutely HIDEOUS i wore them faithfully every day for the past 6months. many people don't even wear their retainers at all but i still wore mine. and what do i get for it ? another 3 MONTH EXTENSION of retainer wearing ! grrr. i know this might sound like such a trival thing to other people, but im really really irritated ! im so sick of wearing them alr. not only are retainers ugly, they're really uncomfortable too. and i was so looking forward to being able to not wear them fulltime anymore :( so yes i am pretty disappointed. now im gonna hafta continue being ugly and uncomfortable until september ! im wondering if i should just heck care what my dentist says and stop wearing them. but i guess i shall just be a good girl and wear them for awhile more. grr. but seriously when september comes if she still says i have to wear them fulltime i am going to tell her to go to hell. i am so sad now. september is so far away.

i was reading melia's blog about how it's funny that people lie to your faces when you actually know the truth inside out. and i just wanted to say that i agree, esp in terms of TFBs. gosh i really hate how fake TFB can get.

cleared my desk today and filed all my notes and tutorials properly. so im all ready to start work tmr, although i don't really intend to study at home. haha. strangely, tday im starting to feel quite motivated to study. which is pretty gd. maybe the pressure of having so little time is finally affecting me. 13 days left to study a greater amount of work than i can ever hope to handle. esp when i don't even know anything abt my work from first 3 mths until now. im really getting very worried. and scared. im just hoping to pass all my subjects for common test. i really really want to pass. but i have a feeling im hoping for too much.

okay i shall go off and sulk more about my retainers now.

2005-06-12T13:34:00.000+08:00

yesterday was the last day of intensive dance training. no more waking up early everyday and dragging myself out of bed ! but i think im gonna miss the dance people quite abit. i really really need to force myself to study now though. went to meet my og mates at plaza sing after dance. the best friend, kaya, junzhe, yushu, cheryl, stingray and isis were all there. haven't seen junzhe and yushu in so long. ever since they left sa. so it was pretty nice i guess. ate at the foodcourt, then watched unleashed. some jet li movie. haha it was better than i expected though. thought the show was gonna be a huge waste of money but it actually turned out to be quite entertaining. cheryl isis and stingray left after the movie, so i walked around with the rest abit more. haha my feet were killing me cos my slipper kept cutting into the floorburn on my foot. after that my dad picked me from wheelock so i could join my parents and some other people for dinner.

going to sicc to study with wei for awhile later, while our parents go for their ballroom dancing class. haha. he apparently hasn't started studying for common test either. i shall try to get him to teach me math. hope i can at least get started on some work. my brother's coming home from the US at midnight tonight so we're gonna go pick him up. haven't seen him in abt half a year. i wouldn't say that i can't wait for him to come back, but still im pretty happy that he's coming home. feels abit strange though. cos it's started to seem like im the only child. and suddenly i have a brother again ! haha.

so if you're lonely, you know im here waiting for you.

2005-06-11T20:36:00.000+08:00

finally ended our intensive dance practice. gonna miss dancing though. going to finish our go-go dancers soon! cant wait to see the end product. haha. think its going to be funny to watch. and kanghao insisted that i look like a primary school kid with two pony tails. oh well.. its good to look young. -trying to console myself- haha.

jacq must be having fun now.. having a gathering with her og mates. and the other dancers too went town to have fun. while im sick and stuck at home. so jealous. hmph! jacq must tell me wat you all did today k. i bet loads of funny things happened.

-go go dancers go go dancers- *vibrates butt